Like a Garment

Jummah Mubarak people!

I've joined the facebook group called "Ahadith per day Keeps Shaytaan away," and they send out a hadith with an explanation once a day. Yesterday the hadith I receieved was titled 'Like a Garment: Husband and Wife.' I thought I would share it with you guys.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another". [Muslim]

Commentary: Love does not mean that we should always agree with or feel good about our partners. A man may like a quality not in his wife, but he should be conscious of the fact that she might have other qualities that are even better.

Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) says that spouses are like clothes for each other. They hide the defects in the body, and beautify the body. Each person wears clothes that are just the right size for their body. So also Allah gave you (or will give you) the spouse just right for you, somebody who complements your strengths and compensates for your weaknesses. Therefore, never compare your partner with others. Somebody else’s clothes may look great on them but terrible on you.

The same applies to the wife regarding her husband. Perfection in humans is only possible in Jannah; it does not exist in humans on earth. So don’t look for it here.
As clothes and bodies go together but are not the same, so also yours and his strengths will be different. Do not expect your spouse to be good at the same things as you. Do not compete with each other, nor expect the other to become just like you.

What happens if something falls on your best clothes? You carefully wash the stains off them. You don’t junk the clothes or exhibit the stains, but make the clothes all beautiful again.

Sometimes the clothes are perfect. Everybody says they look great. But you don’t like them. Then it is your own sight that needs to be fixed. When partners are able to accept and live with their differences, love and respect will grow and that is how this relationship stays.

So, this Hadith contains a very wise counsel for a happy married life. It tells us that every person has certain good qualities as well as some shortcomings. Man has been advised here to overlook the shortcomings that he does not like in his wife and appreciate her good qualities. Similarly, a woman is advised to ignore the shortcomings of her husband and admire his good qualities.

A gentle reminder for all the men out there, whether you a husband yet or not :)